Another sleepless night. And only one Aspirin left. I've already had one, because of the terrible headache that has stolen my sleep. And it's still not giving it back...
Only one Aspirin left. Not enough to commit suicide. It's not like I culd really do it, but I've thought about it hundreds of times. Everytime I start thinking about my hard work and the poor results, about all the wrong I do because of my insatisfaction, about how the world would be a better world without me.
I feel like everybody has grown up and found a place, while I'm stuck in this phase full of doubt and unfullfilled wishes. J is the only person wose presence makes me feel save, like I was home; the only one whose words can make me smile and feel more confident; the only one who can make me forget. But he will go on and grow up someday. Where will I be when that happens. Will there be still a place for me in his world?
I'm still searching for my way. I'm afraid I made too many bad decisions. Isn't someone going to pick me up? I always fled into my dreams when reality tried to destroy me. But now, darkness has reached even the hidden Realm of my fantasy. Where am I? I just want to go home...
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